When they say time heals everything, they lied.
She lay upon the grassy meadow. The resplendent day might have captivated some. The colors of the scenery around her were breathtaking; the bright green of the grass, the yellows and purples sprouting up from it… but she paid no mind to this at all.
To peer into her eyes was to peer into her soul; the sadness, though some may call it emptiness, radiated through. But these hazel eyes were fixated, gazing upon the bright sunny sky.
She wore her heart on her sleeve, she thought of this as one of her biggest flaws. Over time she had managed to somewhat control the vexatious flaw, before it came crumbling down upon her, one autumn evening.
She had been in love, a love like she had never experienced before. For her, love had never been the object of desire that some girls craved. Love would happen when it happened… if it ever did; those were her thoughts exactly.
She wasn't looking for love by any means when she stumbled upon him. The feeling of euphoria washed over, consuming her, every time she stood before him. His green eyes captivated her, leaving her breathless.
Though he loved her too, he could not bring himself to show it the way she did. She believed with everything in her that he could be the man she wanted him to be.
Her faith never wavering for a moment, she stood strong against her friends who constantly questioned her sanity. “I know he hurts me so." she would tell them without a doubt in her mind. "But I know who he truly is inside; you do not. You see him as he appears to the rest of the world. If you were to see him once, just once, through my eyes... hear the words he speaks when it's just the two of us... you would know. You would understand.”
Her answer was always the same, even if it was through choked sobs or with a smile upon her face. Her friends shook their heads in disapproval, concerned.
About a month before that cold autumn evening, they awoke in the home they shared and began getting ready for work; a typical day, so she thought.
Until the boy said to her, “I know I can never be everything I need to be to make you happy whether you see it in me or not. You deserve so much more, I'm sorry.”
She wept for days on end, slowly moving her things out of small house they shared. Never had she felt a pain so deep, so she thought. The days passed slowly, one by one, as she marked them off her calendar with a heavy sigh and a lone tear. 'Maybe today' she would tell herself.
After months and months she spent pining for him to show her how he claimed to feel about her while together, her friends had become weary of their support, tired of being her shoulder to cry on which she so often required. And now, that they were no longer, her friends assured her it was for the best.
Finally, that autumn night came. On this particular evening, after leaving work at midnight with a friend, she approached a stop light. It was late, the night sky dark as the ocean depths, stars shining brightly. In her rear view mirror, she noticed a single headlight barreling towards her car. She watched intently as the light shifted into the lane beside her, coming to a stop at the light. It was a boy on a motorcycle. He glanced over at her as he raised his shield. The green eyes that pierced her, leaving her breathless, peered back at her. Her heart raced, unable to determine whether it was anger or bliss.
She couldn't seem to bring herself to speak or think for that matter. The light changed and they both took off. Without acknowledging whether he was still close or not, she continued on to their destination. She drove in silence; her friend unsure of what to say. The ringing of her phone broke the silence.
“All I want is an apology for the things you did to me.” She told him.
“I will, but I want you to meet me somewhere. I want you to see that I mean it when I say it.” The boy replied.
“Fine.” She agreed.
They agreed to meet at the place they had first met. She arrived first, nervous he had lied and she would look like a fool waiting on him once more. She sat in her car, head upon the wheel with her eyes closed. Please let him show. As if answering her silent prayer, she heard the distinct sound of a motorcycle. She looked up quickly, peering into her rear view mirror to see the same single headlight approaching as he pulled in and parked beside her.
She stepped out of her car as he dismounted the bike. The conversation was casual, as if nothing had ever happened between them. She was unsure if she loved or hated the fact.
“Look at me.” He began. “I’m sorry, for everything I did to hurt you.”
“That's all I wanted to hear.” She replied. “You don't ever have to speak to me again.”
She turned to get back into her car but he stopped her by touching her arm.
“What?” She asked.
“Want to go get some breakfast?” He asked with a smile.
“It's two in the morning." She laughed.
“Best time for breakfast.”
After their breakfast, they made their way back to the car. The idea of leaving him seemed to be tearing at her heart. She had gotten the apology she had desired, what more could she possibly want from him? She knew deep down, it would never be again.
He drove towards town, the silence seemed deafening.
“Um, you missed the turn.” She noted as he barreled past the way to her house.
“I know.” He said, without a glance in her direction. “We need to talk.”
The two spent the next five hours driving aimlessly through the cold night. Everything she had ever desired to hear come from his lips, he spoke in that car. Of how he was sorry, how he truly loved her, and how he wanted to change his ways for her….
He laughed lightly as they finally realized they had ended up... a completely different state.
“What's so funny?” She asked.
“Nothing.” He replied with a smirk.
“No, tell me.” She insisted.
“No, I'll take it to my grave.” He said sternly.
She shook her head at this. He was still impossibly stubborn, just like her.
Once back in town, he dropped her off at her house. Kissing her goodbye, he told her he would text her in a while.
She woke up after a nap and got ready for work; she cursed under her breath at being so stupid to stay out till seven in the morning, knowing she worked second shift and would have very little time to sleep. The fact she heard everything she had desired to hear from him made it okay.
Upon checking her phone, there were numerous texts from him. Texts that brought her to tears…. And one was begging her to come to a Halloween party with him.
Though she wanted to go, she knew she couldn’t miss work so she promised to come by when she got off work. Little did she know this was the biggest mistake of her life.
That evening at work, she told a lady she worked with (who she also got her cards read from) of her time with him. She listened intently. The lady was much older than the girl, but very wise.
She opened her phone to see a text from the boy: “Really want to know what I said I'd take to my grave?”
“Only if you want to tell me.” She replied back.
Her heart raced in her chest, unsure if she honestly wanted to know or not.
Moments later the reply came: “I wanted to start over with you; I know I messed that up. So I guess I'll regret it for the rest of my days. I truly love you.”
She smiled brightly, heart skipping every other beat. They messaged each other for the next few hours. The boy reassured she would be coming to the party when she got off work. She promised she would. She desired to see him again….
These would be the last texts she would receive from him.
She'll never forget the next message that came to her phone. 9:31 pm, October 31st. Fore it was the one that changed her life forever.
“He's been in a wreck; they're air lifting him to the hospital. It doesn't look good.”
She ran as quickly as her feet could carry her; stopping long enough to inform her boss through choked sobs and tears the situation that required her to leave.
“Why are you stopping to tell me? Run, go!” He told her.
With that she began running through the plant once more.
She met her friend Paul and they tore down the interstate to the hospital she had been told he was being transported to. She never even once stopped to think of cops or even the thought of her wrecking. Nothing else mattered, no one else existed.
The next few days were hell. She spent hours upon hours waiting for any news with Paul.
She turned to him, “I should have been in that car with him… or I could have stopped him. It’s my fault. I could have prevented this.”
Finally, she was able to enter the ICU room. Only to fall to her knees at the sight of the boy she loved. As the horrifying news filled her ears, “Even if he makes it, he'll never remember who you are.” replayed through her mind over and over again.
She spoke to him, hoping just maybe, he could hear her voice one last time; hear her tell him what he meant to her and the love she felt for him.
“It's gone, it's going with him,” she whispered to her friend who stood next to her, holding her hand as she held his.
She didn't sleep, she didn't eat... to be honest, she was barely alive. Placing her hand over her heart, that she was convinced no longer existed; she couldn't even feel it beat beneath her chest.
4:04 pm, November 2nd. Both hearts stopped beating.
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